Snowbound and Irate

They say Spring is the time for romance. I think they have never had to endure a New England Winter. As I ward off the ever-present threat of frostbite, and watch my fellow animals in this zoo we call Icaria, I've come to the conclusion that while Spring may be a time for lovers, these dwindling days of Autumn are just as much an aphrodesiac. After all, when you're snowbound inside, what would you rather be doing?

a. Homework
b. Gossiping about who's sleeping with who
c. Expanding the range of possibilities vis-a-vis who's sleeping with who

Let's just say I'm putting my money on the last two options. Maybe it's more than the cold; even a tropical snob like me has to admit that the leaves are gorgeous this time of year, the forest aflame in ways that I'll leave it to much better poets than I to attempt to describe. I'd quote Robert Frost, but all that comes to mind is Fire and Ice:

Some say the world will end in fire;
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

At least it's poetry that's vaguely on-topic, as well. We've certainly got enough ice around here these days, and I know it's just going to get worse. As for fire...well. We can count it a blessing for some that I wasn't burned like Guy Fawkes at Dot's Fundraising Dinner -slash- Pizza Extravaganza. Perhaps she's saving that for Homecoming, though; I would go up in a pretty good blaze if we soaked me in all the alcohol we can afford from donations. That, or maybe she'll toss me to the other girls who didn't have Campaign Managers. I know we've got to have a bacchanal around here at some point, dammit!

(Special note to someone who shall remain nameless: You still have three days. If you haven't yet, ASK HER.)

Of course, the girls apparently lost the lottery to see who would tar and feather me first. As previously and briefly reported, I was given what I do believe the young kids are calling "a trouncing" after the party. Four guys, none of whom I saw real clearly in the dark, and a pummeling later, and into the dumpster I went. Wounds were relatively minor: a black eye, some scrapes, a twisted ankle, a wounded ego, and one unrepairable shoe. Somehow, I was lucky enough to have a sharp-tongued Angel of Mercy drop in and apply first aid to the physical wounds, and a good lancing to the ego before it tried to fester. Add in a more gentle touch later that night, and a weekend to recover, and I do believe the limp and the shiner will be gone in time for Homecoming. Underlying causes? We'll address after we find out if I'm surviving Saturday.

Speaking of Homecoming: yours truly is dateless. C'est la vie! Thankfully, my fingers will be occupied with other pursuits -- at least, hopefully, this will be my debut as the trumpet section for Smutty Moll. Though still, given the way things are looking, I may be the only guy going stag. I was..let us say, pre-empted?...in my first choice by Mr. Fly-By-Night, and the second option...well. Apparently, even the budding possibility of Autumn romance is more whirlwind up here than even I'm used to. I can't be upset, though. Not in the face of budding adorableness to this degree. They may actually need to issue a license; I'm not certain this kind of cute isn't lethal in uncontrolled doses.

As I look back over my previous paragraph, a clarification: I don't mean to say that second and any other options unasked (one was suggested to me, but I think I'm staying further away from the knives than that, at least for that night) would have been consolation dates compared to who I had been considering at first. I'm not that cutthroat and mercenary a bastard. There is a damn reason I'm going stag rather than working my way down the list into the truly desperate for a date, just like there's a reason I'm not even asking the possible third. She, and everyone else? Deserves better than that.

Anyway. Enough self-reflection. I'll just end by noting that, despite not having really talked about it? There is some serious strangeness afoot in this town. I think I've shaken the majority of the cloud that'd been over my head since Halloween. At least, I'd like to hope I have. But that leaves questions. Consider this a note to self: Talk to D and E when you get a chance. Better informed than blindsided again, after all.

So, I'm officially here, finally. Not just in Icaria, but in my room in MacArthur Hall at Eupheme. Nothing's unpacked but my laptop for the moment, but at least that much is done. Currently, I'm braving the chill evening breeze to air the room out. I'd almost believe I was a responsible student if I walked in on me, at this point.

Finding the school after leaving the B&B was pretty easy, especially with directions from my secret admirer after I complimented her muffins (the blueberry sort, you perverts.) It's hard to get lost in a town this size, though; I swear, all I'd need to do would be to climb the nearest tree, and I could probably get a birds-eye view of all the major streets from there. It wouldn't even need to be a particularly tall tree.

First obstacle successfully completed: find the school. Which lead directly to the second obstacle: negotiate the administration, and explain why I was a day late in arriving. Thankfully, with my parents entirely out of a reasonable time zone to contact in a reasonable manner, I was able to reasonably explain that there had been simple, reasonable miscommunication, and today was actually the day I was meant to get to town. Isn't it grand, living as we do in the Age of Reason? You can get away with a lot, as long as you know that fine line between buttering up your school officials and too obviously kissing their well-educated asses.

Having made it through both of those rings of fire, it was a cakewalk to find MacArthur Hall. Ah, home sweet home, at least for the next nine months or so. I'm also reassured: there were sane people there. At least two -- Emi, who apparently has the room next to mine, and Sam, who was moving out of the room I was moving into. Emi had a cold, apparently, which does wonders for reassuring me that he's not really a cyborg plant. (We're close to Stepford, after all; it was worth considering as a possibility!)

There were then the traditional offerings to new blokes: a cup of tea, and a few hits on the shared blunt. Aside from Emi's apparent pirate fetish (which hey, can you blame a guy?) they both seemed pretty normal. Though the stereo warning that "Lucy" -- whoever she is aside from the hot date Emi was having to miss -- wasn't looking for a boyfriend? Pretty damn funny. Even if I did let my lack-of-sleep slip show and mangle us into a digression on girls being girls versus girls being guys.

Aside: what is it about androgyny that comes in and out of fashion? Is it the mystery? Is it the fact that Julie Andrews was pretty fucking hot as both Victor and Victoria? And how about the issue that I don't really care how butch Shirley Manson is, I'd still do her in a heartbeat if given the opportunity? Maybe this is a side effect of that whole thing where sexuality isn't an absolute, but a spectrum, and I'm just further to the side of "hey, I'd totally get in the middle of a Rufus Wainwright/Alan Cumming sandwich if given the opportunity" than most other guys. Of course, in my experience, most other guys are absolutely desperate to prove they're not gay, not quote-unquote "weak", not standing out from the sheep's herd. Baaaa.

Sam's apparently in a band. Ska. And looking for a brass player. Conveniently enough, I did remember to bring my trumpet. We'll have to see just how things go once I can settle in and give them a try-out.

Sam is also, apparently, a bigger pothead than South American drug smugglers flying planes into Miami. That, or he's been hotboxing guys with the tolerance of bull rhinos up in his room. Emi took me upstairs to my room after Sam left -- which is probably good, because it kept me from staring at the man openly, given the sheer imbedded funk in the room. I'm surprised there wasn't resin caked on the walls in layers thick enough to scrape off and re-smoke.

After Emi abandoned me to the imposing reality of my situation, and I ascertained that the crap they had for cleaning in the Hall wasn't up to this particular challenge, I went in search of the first place I could think of where I could find them: the girls' dorm.

You can all point and laugh now at me being a sexist pig.

And this, of course, is the point in which I ran into Dot. At least, she didn't deny that she was Emi's Dot -- Dorothy, Diva of Delaney Hall. I'm not quite sure I trust Mon Capitan's position that she's the best girl on campus, even if he did offer me a position in the crow's nest. Actually, I will say that the girl thinks quick on her feet, and doesn't take shit -- even if I wasn't trying to give her shit. Go me and my first impressions, huh? And she owns me a raincheck. Note to self: make sure it's worth it when you cash it.

Ah well, at least she had lysol and that Oxy-clean stuff. Which, in combination, have done wonders for getting this place so that it doesn't smell like a Rastafarian Shrine. But now I'm so tired that the thought of facing class tomorrow makes me whimper. I cling to the bright spots: tomorrow night I can properly unpack, and in the morning? I think I actually have a date for coffee. Let's hope I can find the place.