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[Email to Dot]: Fucking Brilliant

To: Diane <drothschild@meridian.edu>
Fr: Lloyd <bpendennis@meridian.edu>
Subject: Fucking Brilliant

I clearly need to declare my major as making friends and influencing people, because I'm just on a fucking roll these days. Next on my list: track down the Dalai Lama and punch him in the nose, then pee on Mother Teresa's grave.

Yeah, so, before you have to hear it through the grapevine or through anyone else, here's a funny story: I found out Herr Not-In-A-Coma was moving out -- supposedly doctor's orders. Oh, and while he's at it, he's throwing a housewarming-slash-welcome back to the awake party. How'd I find out? Well, the same way the rest of campus found out, public post.

Never mind the fucking fact that I'd told Hemi, when I dropped by and saw him in the hospital, that I'd been collecting for the 'welcome back' party since just after he was in the mother-humping accident.

I...maybe I'm off my emotional rocker. Maybe...well, no maybe here; I should have handled it with a cooler head. But I'm already the third wheel puppet in my parent's emotional BS right now. I don't need my (now former) roommate pulling the same bullshit. They've got the leeway of being my god-damn parents, where he's not even come close to earning the right to treat me like that.

So, yeah. I tracked him down at the Ink Noir, and threw the money in his face, and had it out with him in public. Which ended up with him whining that I was treating him like he'd cheated on me. At which point...well, when the straw's already snapped, I'm not sure how you snap it again, but I did a good job of not cracking open his skull like it was an overripe honeydew. Even after he decided that we weren't "done" with the conversation, went outside ahead of me, and tried to force me to spill my guts about what the "real problem" was. And for bonus points, Lucy was there. Because you really want to lose your shit in front of your RA, right?

So...abuse to my knuckles, when you see me? That was me wailing on the wall so I wouldn't touch dumb shit. And I was wearing gloves, so it's not even that bad, just...fuck. Yeah. And for bonus fun, he came by the dorm room after I ran the hell off and soaked my head in the shower. Just to get him to go the hell away, I told him about my parents. I didn't tell him about us: he's got enough ammo there, far as I'm concerned. Lucy came by this morning, to make sure I wasn't trying to hurt myself -- doing her job, and all that -- and got much the same story, with a few more details about there being stuff I wasn't going to tell Hemi. And hey, at least Lucy was satisfied by my tale of woe, and didn't bust my butt with campus authorities or report me for a psych consult.

And for the record? Aside from the wall-punching, the only self-abuse was to my liver, and even that was relatively mild. Just so you don't have to worry.

And after all that, even after coming by with his half-ass apology that pretty much screamed 'still don't get it, but I should jump through this hoop'...he tried to give me the money back so I could keep planning his party. I politely demurred, let's just say.

So...yeah. New major. Or maybe I should just shut the hell up and stop talking to people altogether, with this track record of late. Any vote on the matter?

Soaking his head in a bucket,
Lloyd

Comments

re: crazy cantaloupe

Lloyd,

You're allowed self-abuse. Even if it hurts your hands.

Hemi is never going to learn in some senses. Soak your head and try not to get too frustrated in hoping he sees that you're not just a spear carrier.

Don't stop talking to people.

Okay? Please.

Diane.

Re: crazy cantaloupe

Diane,

I'll grant allowed, but I do try to save it for the special occasions. And as short-bus "special" as this was...I figure a little less self-flagellation, a little more productivity probably will get me out of the hole faster. At least that's my vain, vain hope.

As for Hemi, I've...pretty much given up on any delusion that he'll see me as more than that, at this point. It's more the gall of what seems to boil down to: "I'm sorry for treating you like a sideline character in my play. Now, would you please pick up your spear again? It's party time for me soon, right?" I mean, I know I'm an over-sensitive bastard right now, but am I deluded in reading that?

Vote duly noted, registered, and not overruled by a Republican-stacked Supreme Court. Promise.

-Lloyd

Re: crazy cantaloupe

Speaking of not talking to people.

Um, this is weird.

My 'friend', quotation marks in place, has invited us to Canada. Mostly for cheap moving-his-shit help, but also to get away from the bullshit of campus. It's not for awhile yet, but it's a two-person invite, you and me both.

Turn it over in your mind. I'll introduce you to Don, and you can see if it will drive you insane.

Re: crazy cantaloupe

Um....

Huh.

So we're skipping 'pointing out' and going for the introduction anyway?

Re: crazy cantaloupe

If you want. I mean, I just as good as pointed out. If you would rather go HELL NO now, I can, I don't know, NOT introduce you.

Re: crazy cantaloupe

Yeah.

This is where I turn coward again and jump back to 'turning it over in my mind'. I'll...fuck, I'll let you know.

Re: crazy cantaloupe

I'm not following the coward thing.

Re: crazy cantaloupe

Any excuse to avoid actually giving an answer?

Re: crazy cantaloupe

Fuck, who said you had to answer this second? Not me, old Lloyd. Definitely not me.

Re: crazy cantaloupe

Fair enough! It just seemed a trend, along with 'shut upa nd avoid even being seen', much less 'stand there and look pretty' which at least takes some guts.

Nevermind me. I just need a drink. Or something.

Re: crazy cantaloupe

Do I look like Hemingway?

If you answer yes, I may hurt you.

In any case, no, this is a 'take your time' thing. On your schedule, Bill my love.

Re: crazy cantaloupe

My love, if you looked like Hemingway, and we were having this conversation, I would be following it up by asking Lucy to have my ass locked up in a nice padded room until someone could check my skull. Possibly involving an MRI.

That aside? Reassurance noted and appreciated. Just don't let me weasel out of actually giving you an answer. (Not that I'm planning to, just...eh. Second-guessing myself keeps me on my toes, and I'm always better when I'm spritely. Or springy. Or something.)

Re: crazy cantaloupe

You can weasel. Really, I'm not sure I want to go to Canada. I hear they force-feed you shit like poutine and beer.

Who needs it?

Re: crazy cantaloupe

Oh, please, I can weasel with the best of them when the time comes. See my whole conversation with The Great White Hunter when he came by the room the other day. It doesn't mean I necessarily approve of it all the time. I'd rather give you a straight-up "yeah, I can deal with this" or "fuck no, don't think so'", instead of some half-assed passive-aggressive bullshit "you mean I didn't tell you at all?"

Hell, I'm not even to the point of considering the Great White North, hoser. I gotta get over deciding whether or not I wanna meet your "friend" before we tackle travel questions. That's fucking easy compared to door number one.

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